


Insanity Check

by CalamityJess



Series: Jessica Shepard [2]
Category: Mass Effect Trilogy
Genre: F/M, Shenko - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-06-12
Updated: 2017-06-12
Packaged: 2018-11-13 09:06:03
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,904
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11181507
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CalamityJess/pseuds/CalamityJess
Summary: The old saying goes "All's fair in love and war". Jessie Shepard would like to strangle whoever came up with that. Between dealing with the Reapers and the far reaching effects of being resurrected by Cerberus, fair isn't the F word she would use to describe it.





	Insanity Check

The morning had started off normally enough. Normal being a subjective term when you were under “house arrest”. It wasn’t technically a house, it was a room in the Alliance detention center, but that was the term they wanted used. It wasn’t a bad room as far as things went. She missed her hamster, lovingly named Eek, and her model ships. But she at least had company. Company was a subjective term as well, considering hers was a six foot bear of a lieutenant named Vega. In the six months they’d been stuck with each other, they’d formed a friendship.

_He had accompanied Anderson to Omega to meet her and Joker before coming back to Earth. After a successful run against the Collectors they had returned through the Omega 4 Relay intact and it had been time for her to face the consequences for blowing up the Alpha Relay, a decision that had resulted in the deaths of over 300,000 batarians._

_Only one member of the squad remained aboard the Normandy after docking, besides Joker. Thane was the last of them to leave. Anderson had been sympathetic and given the two a little extra time to say their goodbyes. Thane would be returning to the Citadel to join his son and repair their relationship. Anderson knew they wouldn’t be allowed to be in contact where she was going, and he’d explained that to James when the LT had given him a questioning look._

_Jess stood with Thane, within eyeshot of Anderson and the young lieutenant. They stood there quietly, her head against his chest, his arms wrapped tightly around her._

_“We could run...,” she mumbled._

_“Siha, you and I both know you wouldn’t do that”_

_“It was a nice thought though. I don’t want to leave you Thane, I love you.”_

_“I know, and I love you, Siha. But we must do what we must do, and trust that we’ll be together again when it’s done,” he answered, pressing a kiss to her brow._

_“Take care of yourself, Thane. For me?”_

_“I promise.”_

_They shared one last kiss before he walked her to Anderson._

_“Thank you Admiral, for allowing us some time,” Thane said, shaking Anderson’s hand._

_“It’s the least I could do, I’m truly sorry it has to be this way,” Anderson said to both of them as he led Shepard back to the Normandy._

_As they entered the Normandy, Jess took note of how empty it was. She guessed she should at least be grateful the emptiness wasn’t from a Collector attack this time, but it was still eerie. She followed Anderson to the briefing room where Joker was waiting. Anderson introduced them both to Vega, explaining that he was assigned to Shepard to keep the batarians off of her should they get any ideas about revenge._

_“What...you think they’ll come after me in an Alliance prison center?” she asked, amused._

_“We can’t be too careful Shepard.”_

_“Anderson, I’m a biotic, a damned good one...I can take care of my....” She stopped, noting a change in Anderson’s expression as he and Vega exchanged a look. “Oh, you aren’t....no. You can’t...you’re taking my amp aren’t you?” her voice took on a bit of panic as she realized this was just the start._

_“I’m sorry, Shepard. Hackett pulled every string he could and so did I. Your Mom helped too. Your implant will remain active, but the amp has to be surrendered. I might as well tell you, your omni-tool needs to go too.”_

_“Fuck! What’s next? My ship?” she growled._

_One look at Anderson’s face gave her the answer._

_“How? It’s not an Alliance ship! I rightfully stole it from Cerberus!” she declared indignantly._

_This elicited a chuckle from Vega, who up until now had been standing quietly, arms crossed over his very large chest. Anderson shot him a look that screamed ‘for the love of God, don’t encourage her.’_

_“Ok maybe stole was the wrong word. They built it for me. I could understand if it was the SR1 but this is my ship!” she raged on._

_Joker, with no hint of subtlety, cleared his throat loudly._

_“Sorry, our ship,” she conceded._

_“Better, Commander,” Joker added._

_Anderson sighed. “Shepard, I hate doing this to you. Everything you have found says the Reapers are coming. You’re the best hope we have of stopping them, but I have to lock you up. The Alliance feels they have a claim to the ship because the design was theirs, and the Turians. They don’t want it in Cerberus hands. I know you aren’t Cerberus, not really, but they don’t see the distinction.”_

_“Ok, Anderson. What else? Let’s rip off the band aid here.”_

_Anderson explained that she was being placed on house arrest, pending trial for war crimes against the Batarians and working with a terrorist organization. They managed to get the AWOL charges removed, as well as fraud accusations since she had no choice in being brought back, obviously, and had actually reported to an officer as soon as she was able to. Until this was resolved, she was relieved from duty. She would no longer retain the rank of Commander or any of the benefits that come with it. Since Shepard didn’t actually have a place to stay, a room at the detention center would serve. Vega would be with her day and night, as protection. There was an approved contact list, however no one from the Omega 4 team was allowed contact her due to the Cerberus ties. Contact was limited to family, and Alliance contacts._

_Jessie was gobsmacked. Locked up and isolated from everyone she cared about? And since part of her crew on the SR2 were SR1 veterans, that meant even Joker, Tali and Garrus were off limits. How was this happening? How could they do this knowing the threat that awaited them? What was she supposed to do locked in a room for God knows how long? Thinking back on her conversation with Thane, maybe running would have been the better choice. It was too late for that now, however._

_“Shit, ok then. I have one favor to ask if I may?” Shepard said. “None of this blows back on Joker. The Alliance owes him that much for grounding him after Alchera.”_

_“Already done, Shepard. He’ll be questioned, but no charges are being filed,” Anderson assured them both._

_“Well that’s good news, but I won’t have a ship!” the pilot grumbled._

_“One thing at a time, Joker,” Anderson replied._

_Anderson gave Shepard the freedom to roam the ship as she wanted while the made their way to Vancouver. He even let her keep her quarters in the loft for the journey. He saw no reason to treat her as a prisoner yet. However, James was to be with her at all times. You never knew when an attack could come out there, as they had learned the hard way on the SR1, and again when Collectors boarded the SR2. She mostly remained in her room, the only home she’d had this last year. She wanted to be among her personal things and memories while she could._

_It was getting late into the evening when a knock came at the door. She called out for the visitor to enter. James entered with a salute and greeted her._

_“Commander,” he said._

_“You’re not supposed to call me that anymore, Lieutenant,” she replied._

_“Yeah, well I’m not supposed to salute you either but...,” he started. He seemed to want to say more but left it at that._

_“Speak freely, lieutenant,” Shepard encouraged._

_“Well, ma’am. The thing is, you’re Commander fucking Shepard, you’ve saved the Citadel, the Council, hell you just saved humanity, and what they’re doing...it’s fubar. Ma’am.”_

_“On that we can agree, lieutenant.”_

_“So, with all due respect to the powers that be, I’m not going to stop saluting you, or call you anything but Commander. It just ain’t right,” he finished._

And he held true to that. Every day for six months he’d greet her as Commander and saluted. Every day she’d remind him he shouldn’t. She learned how to play poker, that the scar across his nose was courtesy of some angry Batarians in a bar. He’d learned she was a sucker for specific 20th century movies, that she could hold her own in a sparring match, and that Shepard the human was completely different than the hype surrounding Shepard the Commander. Not that he’d ever seen her in command, but he’d imagined it often enough, and seen the vids. He also learned she was somewhat alone. Sure her Mom, Anderson and Joker would send messages and visit. But everyone else she cared about was off limits. One particular day, he walked into her dorm just in time to see a datapad smash against the wall.

“Whoa, what’s up with that?” he asked.

“Just finding out who my friends are I guess. Thought maybe I’d hear from an old...Alliance friend. But, I guess I was wrong,” she grumbled.

She wasn’t sure why it still bothered her so much. It wasn’t like her and Kaidan had ever even defined their relationship before things exploded around them. Hell, he hadn’t even said he loved her until Horizon, and then he phrased it in past tense and called her a traitor. Still, hadn’t they agreed to talk after? To at least try and regain their friendship? She missed having him to talk to. He was always able to think through a problem where she was more likely to try and punch through it. But all of her messages had been read, but unanswered. Anderson had said Alliance contacts were allowed communication with her, surely that included Kaidan. Why couldn’t he at least just tell her to leave him alone if he didn’t want to hear from her?

“Their loss, Commander.”

“You’re not supposed to call me that anymore, James.”

“Not supposed to salute you either,” he shot back before adding, “defense committee wants to see you.”

As they dodged Alliance personnel in the hallway, she wondered what was so important they were dragging her out for. Everyone was rushing past like their asses were on fire. Except the one person making a straight line for her. Anderson. She raised an eyebrow as she returned his handshake and felt something press into her palm. As she glanced down...she saw her amp. Something bad was coming. Anderson couldn’t, or wouldn’t confirm it was the Reapers, but her gut knew. If only they hadn’t grounded her, if they had listened to her, or at least paid more attention to Hackett and Anderson when they warned them they might have been more prepared. As it stood though, they weren’t ready, not even close and all of the _‘if only_ ’ in the galaxy couldn’t help them now. Anderson went ahead to see if the committee was ready, leaving her standing with James.

“Good luck in there, Shepard,” he said, offering a handshake that she returned.

“Shepard...” a voice called.

She’d have known that voice anywhere. She turned, not quite able to hide the shock on her face.

“Kaidan.” The name left her lips far more breathlessly than she liked. Earlier she had been lamenting not hearing from him, now here he was, standing in front of her. And she wasn't ready to face him yet. Not even a little bit.


End file.
